There is an alternative way of dealing with the ‘fear of loss’; that
obstacle preventing people from having a dog or, at any rate, a second one.
Some owners will, at any one time, have two dogs. There tends to be an age gap
of a few years between them because a conscious decision has been made to
ensure there’ll always be at least one dog in the house, softening the moment
of loss!
I understand that approach, although it’s not a strategy I would use.
For me, it’s important to acknowledge the central role in my life held by my
dog; that I will be heartbroken when my friend is no longer around but so
grateful for the times we shared. I’ll need time and an opportunity to mourn
that loss and gradually move past the pain to a point where I can just
celebrate what we had.
Someone once said, and I totally agree, ‘If you don’t own a dog, there
may not necessarily be anything wrong with you, but there may be something
wrong with your life.’ And that’s why we go again! Because there is always room
in your life for the non-judgemental love waiting to be unleashed and
focused on you.
Mind you, it’s always a shock when your elderly, wise companion is
replaced by the firework which arrives next! You’re suddenly reintroduced to
explosive bursts of energy, to the joy of observing moments of puppy
wonderment, where the simple movement of a stray leaf drifting across the lawn
is the most exciting event in the world! And, of course, there is a sense of
satisfaction when you realise one more piece of learning has finally and
irreversibly been consolidated into new behaviours.
I remember watching a programme about a lady who had her dog cloned so
she could have a never-ending supply of identical substitutes. I was genuinely
horrified by the idea! Partly because although you can clone a gene, the growth
and development of personality and character will always be fresh and unique.
Also, I think it’s important not to regard a new dog as a replacement for the
recently lost one; we must accept the loss and then embrace the new adventure
that will begin again.
This is a selection from my playlist of covers. I like the originals;
some are genuine classics, but I prefer these versions. Perhaps it reinforces
the point that life moves on, and if you roll with it and remain open to
something new, there might be unexpected but pleasant surprises.
Hallelujah – Alexandra Burke
Like a rolling stone – Seal and Jeff Beck
The sound of silence – Disturbed
You’ve got to hide your love away – Joe Cocker
As your new companion grows and makes a place for itself in your life,
you inevitably compare it with the previous occupant of your heart. For us,
there are obvious similarities and marked differences between Ellie and Ruby.
Over twenty years, the breeders have produced a solid genetic line that
undoubtedly influences temperament. Additionally, we believe that a clear
routine is essential for a dog, and we have implemented it almost identically
both times. So that combination of nature and nature accounts for many of the
similarities.
On the other hand, Ellie was born three weeks before the shortest day
of the year, while Ruby’s birthday is just five weeks before the longest. That
early exposure to prolonged daylight has definitely influenced her sleep and
play patterns differently from Ellie’s. Similarly, their early socialisation
experiences were also very different. We bought a buggy to take Ruby out in the
summer of 2020 until she was fully protected by her vaccinations; when Ellie
arrived, she was almost housebound in the long, cold, snowy winter of early
2007. She loved the beaches in Sunderland but didn’t really see much of them, and
the many dogs who roam there, until she was around six. Ruby was introduced to
them from a few months old. She has been around young children since her first
days with us. Ellie was almost ten before she was exposed to the same
experience.
The two photos I’ve used this time look almost identical but were actually taken nearly seven years apart. I only realised I had them when uploading another batch to the electronic photo frame. One is Ellie, and the other is Ruby, and I can only tell the difference by checking which one is sitting on the carpet. A few years ago, well before Ruby arrived, we replaced it with a wooden floor. I was enthralled when I spotted the similarity. Not because I had unknowingly recreated a moment in time; it was that these two very different dogs had a shared love of observing life in the garden. Another thing that links them is the joy and pleasure of being around two such beautiful creatures with their lovely characters.
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